Sunday, June 24, 2012

My Gaps Dream.

Over the last couple of days I have been taking a walk down memory lane. Talking with a friend over some of our shared experiences with Prem babies. Our latest addition Xavier was born 5 weeks early, with a hole in his lung and blood infection, and then went on to develop phenomena. So he spent 5 weeks in Special care nursery. That time was a hard time for our family, in that we were separated for most of that time. My husband isn't able to drive, so we only were together as a family on two occasions during that 5 weeks. We were very blessed by friends that helped care for my family while I was away. However being apart from my family was not the hardest part, for me the hardest part was seeing my baby being given needle after needle to help fight infections and the only thing I could do was hold is hand and talk to him. Not being able to just pick him up and feed him, whenever we both wanted is really hard. I feeling of not belonging is really hard as well. After day 5 I was no longer a patient, so I didn't belong, the only care I could do for my baby was express milk, so I didn't really feel needed, but I didn't really belong at home either without my baby.

I do believe that the state of my mind and body contributed to the early arrival of my son a great deal. I started the pregnancy at my heaviest weight and was really not in the best condition to have a baby. (I will talk more about what happen in his birth story). So for me, one big part of this journey is correcting those things, so that I can go on to have more healthy pregnancies. Yes you heard me right I do want more babies. I am aiming not be pregnant for 6 months at least to give my body a good chance at that. If you have read my other posts of family planning you will know that we choice to trust God for our family planning, and we will continue to do that. I also really believe that the Lord lead us to do this diet. I am still pinching myself at the fact that we are even doing this, I think it's by his strength that we are and we haven't given up. We have only being doing it for two months but have already seen so many good results, and looking forward to seeing more.

So one of the major things that I really look forward to the most, is being able to have a health pregnancy which ends in a peaceful water birth at the birth centre. I would love to strive for home birth, but will settle for a birth centre birth first. :0)

That is my dream that I want to make reality.

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