The Little things!

Oh the things you enjoy when you have everything taken away. I long for the day when I can go to the toilet without thinking about it, and taking a vomit bucket with me. Without thinking, "Have I fully emptied my bladder?", " Am I going to poop or vomit?, or both?" which happens often. I long for the day when I eat properly, without having to take a tablet to stop me feeling sick. I long for the day when I have the physical strength to prepare my family a meal, to drive the car, to go shopping, to leave the house without assistance and to go somewhere other than the hospital. We have this nice new van (new to us) that we all long to go for a drive in. I long to be able to care for my baby properly, and for my family. For days when I can cook the meals that make my family feel better, bring healing to my husband, and wellness to my children. I don't want these first days with my baby to go by without me begin able to be a part of them. There is no more babies for us, which is really hard to think, I'm missing all these things, the breastfeeding, the special times, and so on, and I've never going to get them again. I'm blessed to be here with my family and seeing them grow, learn, and change. However there are hard things about that as well.

Placenta Previa and Percreta

My Journey started at 7 weeks on one of my daughters birthday, I experienced my first bleed and loss of clots, one the size of a big lemon. We later found out that we lost one of our twins. Because it was my daughters birthday My husband and I took our children to MacDonalds for breakfast for a birthday treat, and we knew that we would probably spend the rest of the day at the hospital and wanted to at least make some of the day special. I assumed that I had miscarried our baby, but because I was O neg I needed to go to the hospital and have an anti-d injection, just in case. When they came back with my blood tests the doctor was very surprised at how high my HCG levels were. She explained that they were really high for a normal pregnancy, let alone someone that was having a miscarriage. So they booked me in for U/S the following week. During the ultrasound the technician discovered a live baby, and a pool of blood, a subchronic hemorrhage, and a space where she explained looked like a another egg had started to implant. With so many mixed feels it was a challenge to deal with. Some of our family are not very supportive when it comes to us having children, so at that point we had only told close friends that we where expecting. But then when you go through something like this, what do you say, "I might be expecting", I'm not sure if we will have a live baby at the end of this journey. I remember clearing wanting to tell people that we were having another blessing, but then at the same time I didn't want to turn around that tell these same people who didn't want us to have a baby to start with, that actually we lost it. I remember Christmas day very clearly, having to get through the whole thing pretending that everything was ok, putting on the happy christmas face, (not sharing we were pregnant, didn't want to ruin anyones christmas) but at the same time, bleeding and having to keep it to myself.

I then went on to have about another 10 bleeds up, with each bleed I would have to up to the hospital to check that I still had a live baby on board, until I got to the point where I could feel baby moving, it was really quite stressful. People would see me at the hospital and ask why I was there, it was never a happy answer, until 22 weeks at which point the fresh bleeding stopped. I has brown old bleeding the whole time, there wasn't a day since it started that I didn't have to wear a pad. I was then diagnosed with gestational Diabetes at 22 weeks and required insulin to help keep it under control. The pregnancy progressed fairly smoothy after that, I was put on pelvic rest, and total I had a low lying placenta, it wasn't until the 20 week scan that it was confirmed that I had placenta previa. I was lucky I had a friend that had recently gone through the same thing, she had 7 weeks hospital bedrest, and then a c-section. So I asked her so many questions, I think in the early weeks there was hardly a day that I didn't send her a question. I wanted to be prepared. With 6 children at home, I wanted to prepare my family in the event that I would have a long hospital stay. As the time progressed the placenta didn't move, at my 32 week scan, which felt like forever to come, it seem to settle more into the complete placenta previa position. After speaking with one of the doctors, they didn't seem to think that I would have accreta because the U/S report sounded like that placenta was more to the back and side, and not covering my scar. My next scan at 36 weeks, suggested that it might be over the scar. So they said there could be a possibility that it might be accreta, but they didn't think it was very likely.
During my pregnancy I had set myself some goals to get to, which really helped me. My first was to make it to viability, 24 weeks. Then 28 weeks, but my big one was to make to 32 weeks, because that mean all being well with baby I would have to go to Hobart which was 3 hour drive away, and I wouldn't see my family and they wouldn't see me until it was time to go home. My husband can't drive, and we didn't have a vehicle that would make it possible to be able to make that drive, so I would be on my own for delivery and everything else. I was so thankful when that day came and passed.

At 36 weeks and a few days I was sitting at home crocheting when I felt a gush. I had that split second of dread, I knew what it was. I had just been experiencing some Braxton Hicks for about 20 mins before hand. I ran to the toilet to discover blood pouring out. I was home alone with my 6 children. I immediately called out to my children to get me the phone, which they did really quickly. I call the ambos straight away, and messaged my husband and a friend to come. One of my children ran next door and got help from the neighbour. The Ambo arrive with in 10 mins, put in a drip and rushed me to the hospital. Blood was still pouring out. On the way to the hospital contractions started, I remember telling the ambo man with me that my baby was in breech, and if the placenta started coming to just reach in grab my babies feet and pull her out!, I think the guy was bit paniced by that and told the driver to go fast. On the way the ambos had call the hospital and they prepped an OR for my arrival. I was rushed straight into theatre. There were so many people there. The midwife got the doppler out and tried to find my babies heart beat. She couldn't find it. I had a quick thought, and told her my baby was in breech, and which point she moved the doppler and was able to find her heart beat, the whole room breathe again. People where rush all over the place, one doctor was asking me questions, while another started waxing me, another did a speculum. It was all systems go. At this point I knew I was having a Hysterectomy. The last thing I knew I was asking the date so that I would know when my baby was born. Little did I know at that point that actually being able to see my baby was lying on a knifes edge. I had eaten recently that day, So when they put the GA over my face I had one nurse with her hand on my neck to stop any food coming back up while I was going to sleep. I had that feeling of being strangled, I knew the only way to get out of the feeling was to breath as deeply as I could, and get to sleep fast.

The next thing I knew I was waking up in ICU. I had been asleep for 5 days. The doctors has so much trouble controlling the bleeding, I had 4 operations to bring it under control, had my blood replaced 4 times, using all the o negative blood in the state, I used 54 units of blood, 80 blood products. My bladder was invaded, and the urethra had completely come out and had to be re-implanted, as well as cut in my groin to help stop the bleeding. The medical team had to work hard to keep me from bleeding out and dying. There was many times when they didn't think I would make it through. In recovery my doctors told me how worried they were that I wouldn't make it. He explained that it was like he was just holding me here by my heels. The doctor giving me the blood said to my husband that there has only been one other person that he has given that much blood to and they survived. My family members where of course very worried not sure if I would make it through. Recovery was very painful. I remember waking up in ICU and having the attendants come every 2 hours and turn me. That was extremely painful, and for the next two hours I would slowly work myself back to a position that was more comfortable, only to have them come back and roll me on the other side, again really painful position. That went on for a few days. I also remember waking with tubes, breathing and feeding equipment down my throat. It was rigged up in such a way that if I tried to pull it out it would make me gag and let the nurses know what I was up too. Finally it all go taken out and made do an huge vomit. When I was well enough to be moved to an ICU room they changed me over from continues morphine to button operated morphine that I could press every 5 mins to get another dose, however I was so weak from all the operations, surgery and drugs, I couldn't press that button, so the only time I go a dose of pain relief was when someone visited me or someone passed by my room. There are so many more experiences that I share about this ordeal. Too many for today, but you can find more my story in other blog posts.

I finally got to met my baby on day 6 of her life, I could only hold her for a few mins because I was so weak. She was the smallest out of all my children, and had a look of her own then. Now she looks just like the other children. For me this was my first visit, for her it was her third. The Nicu staff brought her down on day 2 and put her on my chest, and took pictures, at this point they where not sure that I would live, and where trying to create as many memories for my baby as they could. Also well and try and help me recover.

We both did however. Marcella was born on the 18th June, at 36 weeks. It took 4 weeks to get home after the birth, I went home with a bladder bag and Stoma bag which was used over the cut in my groin to collect all the lymphatic fluid that was pouring out of my wound. Marcella is doing well with no real problems. It took 7 weeks for my bladder to heal. It has healed the best that it ever will. I have lost some function in my right kidney, because of the way they had to react the urethra, they couldn't attach back to the top, they had to put it in the side, when I go to the toilet some the urine goes back up the urethra and into the kidney, so I need to make sure that I stay on top of any infections that might arise from that.

It turns out that I had developed percreta, and it was growing through my uterus. I'm glad to be alive and have the chance to raise my children.

UpDate: I am now the President for the Australian Chapter of the Hope for Accreta Foundation.
You can read my updated version http://hfaausnz.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/christinas-story-of-placenta-previa-and.html

If you have placenta previa or accreta, increta, or percreta, and want to talk, please feel free to contact me via email. Christina - thejoyofthehome@gmail.com

Pregnancy Update - 24 weeks Yay!

Hi all thanks so much for reading this blog. It's been a while since I have updated, so here goes :) I'm currently 24 weeks. Finally! It seems to me like it has taken a long time to get here. Over that 24 weeks, I've had several bleeds (about 10) and several ultra sounds, Anti D injections, and dopler tests to check that baby is still alive and so on. So it's been a bit of testing time. I think the hardest part is being before 24 weeks, if something happened, ie too much blood lost, there wasn't anything the doctors could do to help my baby, only wait and let things happen. So for me I feel a bit more a sigh of relief that now I have reached a milestone.

So what is causing all this bleeding. Well it turns out I currently have a complete placenta previa. This is were the placenta is covering both sides of the cervix. SO what does this mean for the pregnancy? Well there is the risk that my cervix starts to open and I would loose a lot of blood and need to delivery baby early. It also means that if the placenta doesn't move from it's current position I will need to have a c-section. The other concern about my placenta being low is that is might be attached to my c-section scar, which is something else I really don't want, but thankfully at this point it looks like it might not be. Again time is going to tell how and when this baby is going to be born.

Now in saying this my doctors are still hopeful that my placenta might move, which would allow me to have a natural delivery, as long as my baby isn't large. Which I have had a few of. To help keep my baby at a normal size, I am closely controlling my blood sugars, so tonight I've had my first insulin injection to help with my fasting blood sugars. My liver has been releasing too much glucose while I'm asleep.

The other thing that we learnt today at our doctors appointment is that our baby, who I can say looks to be a little girl, has a clubbed left foot. We won't know for sure what will come of this until she is born, whether it's just positional and only need physio or if it will need more invasive treatment. It's just another thing that the doctors will keep an eye on.

For those of you that are praying for this pregnancy blessing, and my family, I really would like to thank you so much. So if you would like some prayer points to help with your prays here goes.

Please pray:
- That the placenta will move and we will be able to have a natural delivery.
- That we will deliver at term.
- That we wouldn't have any more bleeding.
- That the placenta is not attached to the c-section scars.
- That the club foot would resolve in utero.


Again thanks so much.
Blessing to you all
Christina

Week 12

Well today marks week 12 for this pregnancy. It has been a very up and down experience so far. With the big bleed early in week 7, where I thought I had lost the baby. As it turns out it looks like we have lost one baby. I have had two scans now, to check for a viable baby. Both times we discovered a baby with a heart beat, and moving. On the second scan they were able to see a small crater where the other bleed came from, with the best explanation being that they was a second baby there. During that second scan they were also able to see that the baby was surrounded by some blood in the womb still, but not to worry as the old blood came out. Only to worry if new fresh blood showed up. So for a while I did have some old blood.

Well Christmas day, brought with it many blessings, but also fresh bleeding, not a big bleed like before, but like fresh blood. Then boxing day also brought more light bleeding with some light cramping. Well this was particularly hard because we weren't telling family until after Christmas about the pregnancy, so I couldn't tell anyone but Ben what I was feeling. So that night I came home and had a good cry, which of course made me vomit! Grrr.... one of the many things I dislike about morning sickness.

While on the topic of morning sickness, I would like to say that I do cope some flack for using medication to help me stop vomiting. Ultimately most of those people don't really know what morning sickness is like for me, and don't have to make the choices that I am faced with. Morning sickness (all day sickness) for me, often courses me to vomit blood, loose 10-20 kgs, get dehydrated - to the point that my kidney's have ached and my tongue had been very sore because of it. As well as having to go to hospital to have fluid put back in, all of which work together to put my babies at risk, especially if not treated. The medication I use doesn't stop those things, but helps ease them to a point to being a bit more manageable. So while it doesn't stop me vomiting, it does help to reduce it so that I can hold down fluids 70% of the time, if I have small sip all day. So my choice is to use medication when I must. I don't use it all day, everyday, but during the worst patches of sickness.


I think it will be a few more weeks before we will look at getting back onto gaps, as I slowly getting back into the kitchen, making a meal or two here and there, when I'm able too. Normally morning sickness easies at around week 16. I think both Ben and I are hoping that it will be earlier this time round. The family are all really keen on getting back onto GAPS. So we will see how that goes.

So that is all for today.... Ben might write a blod post soon, so keep an eye out for that one.

Bye for now. :0)

The wait is over.

Well today was the day that I have been waiting for since last friday. I had a scan today. I saw baby straight away, and baby has a heart beat. Yay! All good news. I'm still not sure what caused the bleeding, and the clot, but I do suspect that it might have something to do my lastest c-section, as the Ultra sound tech asked lots of questions about it, and took lots of pics for the report. I'll go back to the doctors next week which might give me some answers to those questions. Until then, we are happy with the news that baby is still alright.

On another note, the sickness is starting to set in. Oh I hate vomiting. It's my least favourite part about pregnancy. The GAPS diet has gone out the window this week, with the emotional ride and stress I just haven't managed to do hardly any cooking. Ben only has about two gaps dishes he knows how to make, and the children are very much over those. So for this fortnight we will do the best we can with what we can, but it will most likely not be 100% gaps. With me feeling sick it might actually be a while before we get fully back on board with it. I will definitely be doing it once the morning (all day) sickness leaves or eases.

Ben will write a post soon about how this has effected him. Which is a lot.

Anyway, thanks so much for all your support and encouragement. :0)

Waiting game.

It's now been 4 days since the bleeding started. It mostly stopped a few hours after it began. I now only have VERY light old blood. I still have no pain, and am still feeling morning sickness, which is increasing by the days. I'm very tired, and have little energy most of the day. I totally need a motivation and energy boost to get on top of the house stuff. The children are a great help in that, but there are somethings that they can't do yet. So I need to get on top of that. I went to see the doctor today, she gave me a referral to have a viability scan done. I can get in to that on Friday. So for now it's a waiting game, to see what is happening. It was an interesting appointment, because my doctor is clearly very pregnant, so it was a little weird. But such is life. I'm pretty calm at the moment, because of the sickness I'm feeling a bit on the confident side that things are ok. However I really can't be sure at all. Also there isn't a lot I can do, so remaining a peaceful as possible is the best that I can do right now, until I know anything else.

Thanks so much for all your prayers and kind thoughts, it's encouraging knowing there are people out there that care. :0)

Thanks again
Christina

Big day.

Well today has been a big tiring day. I woke this morning at 6pm, was giving my son some food, and felt a small gush. At first I thought I had wet myself, but I had already been to the toilet, so I went to check. When I got to the bathroom I discovered blood, and what seemed like lots of it. This is how my morning began. Today is my daughters birthday as well. Shortly after I went on to pass a golf ball size clot. Thinking that I had lost my baby, I decided I needed to go the hospital, as I'm O- and needed to get an anti D shot. Before going we decided to break the diet for the day, and took the children to MacDonalds for breakfast, being a birthday and not wanting the whole day to be ruined for her, we thought it would be fun. Wow, the food wasn't as satisfying as one might imagine after not eating for 8 months. And boy did I feel sick afterwards. Anyway after spending most of the day at the hospital, we don't have a lot of news. The bleeding stopped after about 2.5 hours, and my pregnancy hormones are still high, my bloods got messed up so there wasn't a lot more they could tell me. At the moment we are not sure if I am still pregnant, or not, or what has happened. Due to it being the weekend tomorrow they weren't able to get me into a scan, or pregnancy assessment. The doctors at the er weren't sure if I lost the baby, or if I had twins and lost one of those babies, or if the pregnancy had emplanted in a bad position, like over the cervix or over my c-section scar. It could also be that the baby has died and my body is holding on to most of it, which then we will need to make a decision about waiting to see if my body will release it or whether we need to do something about it. On a positive not I still have morning sickness which is not fun but a good sign. Also I've had no pain at all, which is another good sign. So will have to go to the gps this week, and organise a scan, and get checked out. Will hopefully know more after the scan, and will no doubt keep you updates.

Oh and to top the day off completely, we left in a hurry and left our back door open, so when we got home we discovered a few of the chickens had been in the house and pooped on the floor. Grrrr. Just what we needed.


Thanks Christina